Monday, May 18, 2009

minute by minute

"...longing for the future [is] as antilife as dwelling in the past ("nostalgia and hope stand equally in the way of authentic experience")" Jitterbug Perfume, by Tom Robbins, p. 299

minute by minute the jet stream of my life
slices through the clear blue sky
above, around, ahead and behind me.

"carpe diem"
"the power of now"
a million best sellers in the life business
telling and teaching me how to be happy

but have they any experience with this

this...rediculous power you have over me
to tear me to shreds with a glance
an unspoken thought
a half a breath

who are you that my life -
my AMAZING life - pales when
not shared with you


Oh....I have been so happy without you
and I long to be at peace inside myself
once and for all

to know
once and for all

to feel and see and hear
once and for all

but always there is the cacophony of unsaid thoughts
that threaten to perforate my brain
leaving me scrambling to gather the pulpy mess off the floor
and put it back where it belongs
but it never goes back where it came from
and I am constantly trying to hold it all in

to hold it all together

in the now
my now
without you

looking back through the haze and hurts of yesterday
and hoping against hope that maybe
this time
everything will right itself
and the power of love and trust and honour and truth
will wash away the stains
and heal my head

I long for peace
for an end to my questions
to sleep and dream and wake up well

to seize each day
with
or without
you.

4 comments:

  1. This makes me long for love...

    ReplyDelete
  2. to seize each day for your self is a great thing to share that with another even better as long as the other shares as well

    ReplyDelete
  3. looking back through the haze and hurts of yesterday
    and hoping against hope that maybe
    this time
    everything will right itself
    and the power of love and trust and honour and truth
    will wash away the stains
    and heal my head

    I long for peace
    for an end to my questions
    to sleep and dream and wake up well

    to seize each day
    with
    or without
    you.


    Beautifully written. I long for these things as well...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your pained glance wounds deeper
    Than the swords of mine enemies
    Yet your adoring eyes
    Soothe, heal & renew me
    In ways that challenge
    The magic of the universe

    Seize each day for yourself
    And know I am with you each day.
    The power of love, trust, honour & truth
    Has washed the stains and healed my head

    A haze of hurts of yesterday
    Distant in the gallop of the now
    With the scent of love, peace and comfort
    Lingering on the wind streaming
    Over the mountains from the future

    May future glances carry you
    Healing, hope and joy
    Bringing true peace and comfort
    To seize each day


    Sleep, dream and wake up well.

    ReplyDelete